Relapse is a part of my story. In fact, it wasn’t until 2/14/18 that I got sober. Recovery wasn’t necessarily what I had initially thought. It’s A LOT of hard work in the beginning, but dang, it has given me a life today I never could have imagined. To keep it simple, recovery to me is identifying there is a problem and doing something about it.
I always refrained from saying “I’m an alcoholic” because that meant I had a problem. When I found the courage to admit I was a drunk, I reluctantly started the journey of recovery. Getting involved in my home group and active in AA (even when I don’t want to) has been the most important/best decision I ever made in my life. It forced me to look at myself and all the “garbage” I had been carrying around for so long.
In the beginning, recovery was about not taking that first drink and trying like hell to stay sober. With that being said, the longer I am in recovery, the more I realize it’s about living a happy and joyous life. Although I am open to a lot of people about my road to recovery, it is EXTREMELY personal to me. Some of the most important things recovery has taught me about myself:
• Don’t take 1st drink/drug = Won’t get drunk/high
• Emotional Relapse = Happens long before the physical relapse. Look for old behaviors/patterns for signs of potential relapse
• Being uncomfortable = Growth *Faith over Fear
• Being inside my own head = misery *Keep busy, HELP OTHERS.
• It’s ok not to be ok = I can’t be happy all the time. Life is difficult. This is where a sponsor/meetings come in handy.
• Vigorous exercise = helps keep me healthy.
• Be happy and take pride in YOUR recovery = it’s your recovery and no one can take it from you.
To the people reading this, keep the faith and trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
L. I.